


These Things Will Never Change For Us At All

by nothingwithoutyouxo



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Before the Maze (Maze Runner), Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:47:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29649480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingwithoutyouxo/pseuds/nothingwithoutyouxo
Summary: It was the last night before the maze insertion. Which meant that it was the last night that all of his friends would be together. When Newt pulls Thomas aside to talk to him alone, Thomas can't help being overwhelmed by everything he hasn't told him.(Also known as, last minute love confessions.)
Relationships: Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner), Teresa Agnes & Thomas (Maze Runner)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	These Things Will Never Change For Us At All

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's a little something I've been working on lately. It's littered with references to The Fever Code because I think about that book a lot. 
> 
> Title is from Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol because that was running through my head while I was writing this, and it has a double meaning when applied to this which hurts me.

It was the last night before the maze insertion. Which meant that it was the last night that they would all be together, and that fact weighed down the air in their little basement hideout in a way that Thomas should have expected. He hadn’t and somehow that made it hurt even worse. As lonely as Thomas had been when he was younger, he found himself wondering if it would have been better if he hadn’t made friends. If he’d stayed within his routine of just seeing Doctor Paige in between his classes, tests, and work schedule, he wouldn’t have to say goodbye to anyone.

Looking around the room at his best friends, the people that meant more to him than anything in the world, Thomas knew that he wouldn’t have it any other way. The maze trials would be over soon enough. They would have to be. Chancellor Anderson had told the elites that it would only be two years. After that, Thomas had to be able to see his friends again. Until then maybe Doctor Paige would let him watch them from the observation room. He hadn’t asked her yet, but if she really saw him and Teresa as her own children … maybe he would get lucky just this once. Thomas had never been able to consider himself lucky, not really, but as his eyes flickered around the room, trying to take in everything about his friends, he could almost feel it.

They’d stolen a bunch of snacks from the cafeteria again. As soon as the heaviness in the room became unbearable, Minho sprung into action with a distraction for the ages. He was currently throwing potato chips in Chuck’s direction, aiming for his open mouth, but Chuck wasn’t quite managing to catch them. The display had the rest of their group in a fit of contagious laughter, that even Gally seemed compelled by. Thomas caught the boy, who was usually quite stoic, hiding a laugh behind his palm. He almost looked like he didn’t want the others to notice, but when Thomas managed to catch his eye, Gally just raised an eyebrow in response, still smiling.

What Thomas was most aware of in the room was Newt. He was sitting to Thomas’ right, knee pressed against his. Maybe that was why Thomas felt like there was no air in the room, but he didn’t want to admit it. The contact brought a level of calm that Newt seemed to carry with him, even in his worst moments, like the times Thomas had seen him cry over being separated from his sister. But this was different, this was the calm before the storm because whenever Thomas was hyper-aware of the boy next to him, whenever Newt shifted slightly and his thigh brushed against Thomas’ before he managed to put some space between them again, Thomas’ heart sped up as if there was nothing but adrenaline coursing through his entire body. 

_ Will you calm down?  _ Teresa’s voice sounded in his mind. Her tone was light, she had way too much fun teasing him over this. She had ever since she’d picked up on it, much sooner than Thomas would have liked her to. He hadn’t even come to terms with it himself before she started to sing-song  _ Thomas likes Newt  _ over and over again in his head. 

_ I don’t know how _ , he admitted. Thomas glanced over at her quickly enough to see her roll her eyes in response. 

_ Give yourself some space then. _

Thomas locked eyes with her across the room.  _ I don’t want to _ .

This time, Teresa just stuck her tongue out at him, not saying anything in response. 

_ You know I’m losing him tomorrow _ , he said to her. 

Her wave of guilt and sadness in response brought him right back down to earth, stark against the laughter still present in the room.  _ I’m sorry, Tom _ . 

Yeah. He was too. Thomas glanced up as Alby stood from his place. He’d stolen a packet of chips from Minho and crossed the room. 

“Your turn, slinthead,” he teased, ripping open the bag as he took a seat next to Chuck.

_ Sorry _ , Thomas apologised to Teresa.  _ I know it’s not your fault. _

_ You’re allowed to talk about it _ , she replied.  _ You can talk to me about anything _ . 

Thomas often felt that he could, and he tried to express that to her without words. 

When Teresa smiled in response, Thomas knew that she must have felt it. 

“Tommy,” Newt muttered next to him, his voice sending a jolt up Thomas’ spine and snapping him into the present again. 

Thomas turned to look at his friend, who’d been tense most of the night. Ever since they’re dropped by Group B so he could say goodbye to Lizzy. Thomas would say he had no idea how that must have felt, but he could see the pain of it in Newt’s eyes, and it broke him.

“You ok?” he asked, and immediately regretted it when Newt’s gaze drifted passed him instead. “I shouldn’t have -”

Newt shook his head to cut him off. He looked like he wanted to say something, like he was battling with it in his head, but couldn’t quite manage to get it out. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked finally. 

Thomas nodded quickly.

“Alone?”

He swallowed. Newt seemed nervous now and he had no idea what to take from that. Thomas offered him another nod. 

Newt got up, and said something to the group that Thomas didn’t quite catch past his pulse rushing through his ears before leaving the safety of their little basement. 

_ I’m cutting you off for this _ , Thomas said to Teresa. 

He glanced up at her quickly enough to see she was giving him an exaggerated frown.  _ But I want to eavesdrop _ , she teased. 

_ If it’s important I’ll tell you later _ , he replied, and then quickly cut their connection and followed after Newt. 

***

They’d ducked down the hallway and into another room. Another empty storage room similar to the one they hung out in. The tension in Newt’s shoulders hadn’t let up and Thomas couldn’t help how worried he was about his friend. 

“Did you need to talk about it?” Thomas asked when Newt didn’t speak. He’d flicked on a light switch, but couldn’t even look at Thomas, which was starting to turn his worry to panic. 

Newt shook his head, eyes finally landing on him. “I know you’re not coming with us tomorrow,” he said.

Thomas jolted. Only Teresa knew about that, he hadn’t told any of the others. He hadn’t even told Chuck because he knew the younger boy would accidentally mention it and Thomas had no intention of the others finding out. Though he had no idea what that would look like when they realised they were all being prepped except for him. Maybe they would think he just wasn’t in the first group. 

Looking at Newt now, Thomas felt entirely stupid. Of course Newt would know. Somehow, he figured out everything about Thomas. Even just by looking at him.

“Are you mad at me?” Thomas muttered, and hoped Newt couldn’t tell how scared he was of the possibility. 

Newt laughed, a short exhale of breath through his nose. “You really think I could be mad at you, Tommy?”

Thomas thought too many things all at once, all the time. And yet, as Newt seemed to finally relax in front of him, he felt nothing but relief. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, because he still felt stupid. 

He shook his head, and then turned serious again. “Tommy, I need you to do something for me.” Newt reached out, a hand landing on Thomas’ arm.

Maybe he should have let Teresa listen in. At least she’d be able to remind him not to focus on the feeling of Newt’s hand on his arm, of the impossible warmth of the gesture. Teresa would mock him mercilessly for the way his heart was reacting to the intensity in Newt’s eyes. 

“Anything,” he muttered, his voice shakier than he’d like it to be. 

Newt’s eyes flicked down to his hand, as if he hadn’t even realised that he put it there. He pulled away, taking a step back, and Thomas took a deep breath while he could. 

“Lizzy is all I have.”

Thomas nodded. He should have realised this would be about her. Nothing mattered to Newt the way his sister did. Thomas couldn’t help but think about how much that was a blessing and a curse. “I know.”

“Tommy, will you look after her for me?” Newt’s gaze had fallen to the floor, and it was such an unusually nervous gesture for him that showed just how desperately he needed an answer.

He didn’t hesitate. “I can try, but I think she can look out for herself.”

The comment earned him a smile. 

“I think she gets that from you.”

Newt‘s eyes met his again, and he looked so upset that Thomas’ mind momentarily ceased working in its entirety. 

All that mattered was making the boy in front of him feel better. 

“I’ll check on her as much as I can,” he said. “I promise.”

“Thank you.” 

Thomas nodded. Newt seemed so  _ relieved  _ that Thomas had to wonder how long he’d been holding out to ask this. Was it just tonight or had Newt been thinking about this since WICKED had announced the insertions? 

“Newt,” he muttered, but Thomas had no idea what to say. He just wanted to reach out but knew that he shouldn’t. This felt like it was turning into a goodbye and he wasn’t ready for that yet. 

The two of them looked at each other, neither speaking. Everything was starting to sink in, even more so than it had been. All of his friends were leaving tomorrow, and Thomas might not get to see them again for two whole years. His mind was racing, thinking of all the things he hadn’t said to them all, the things he  _ needed  _ to say.

“There’s something else,” Newt muttered, his voice the quietest it had ever been. 

A chill went up Thomas’ spine, but he had no idea why. Something about Newt’s tone, about the way he took a step towards Thomas. “You want me to look out for Harriet too?” he asked, knowing that by extension Harriett had to mean something to Newt, since she meant so much to Lizzy. 

Newt blinked, as if he hadn’t expected the question. Then his lips pulled into a smile, his eyes lighting up with amusement. “Sure,” he said. 

Thomas bit down on his lip, and then went entirely still when Newt took another step towards him, so that he was directly in front of him. 

“It’s about you, Tommy.”

“Me?”

Newt nodded. His fingers trailed up Thomas’ arm before resting against his shoulder, anchoring them both in that moment. Thomas couldn’t help the fact that he trembled under Newt’s touch and hoped that the other boy didn’t notice.

“The thought of losing you. It’s - Tommy, I feel insane.”

This was definitely not where Thomas had expected this to go. His brain was starting to short circuit, all because of Newt. Because of his hand, firm on Thomas’ shoulder, because of how close they were, because of the look in Newt’s eyes, the gentle  _ yearning  _ that was hidden in his gaze. 

Did that mean …

“I don’t know when this started,” Newt continued. “Sometimes I wish I could, but Tommy you’re -” he trailed off, closed his eyes for a moment as if to collect himself. 

If there was anything Thomas was good at, it was being impulsive. Seeing opportunities and taking them, and that’s exactly what he did. Thomas lurched forward, grabbing the front of Newt’s jacket and practically crushing their lips together, savouring the sharp breath that Newt took before kissing him back. He shuddered as Newt’s hand moved from Thomas’ shoulder to his neck, steadying the two of them into the kiss. Thomas pushed up, wrapping his arms around Newt’s neck, fingers trailing into his hair, and leaning into the kiss as much as he physically could. 

Newt pulled away first, and Thomas practically melted at the warmth in his eyes. “Tommy -” It was more of a breathless whisper than anything else, and Thomas knew that it would echo in his mind long after they left this room. 

“Too much?” he muttered, acutely aware that he was shaking now, his body trembling at all the contact, of the impossible amount of feelings that he was trying to hold onto. 

Shaking his head, Newt gently pressed his forehead against Thomas’. “I could never have too much of you,” he said.

Thomas needed to calm down. His heart was racing in his chest and he was trying to time his breathing to Newt’s, trying to force himself back to earth. 

“What I was trying to say is I don’t want to go into that bloody maze without you.”

“I don’t want you to go either,” Thomas replied, his hands had slipped down to Newt’s shoulders again and he grabbed a fistfull of the fabric of Newt’s jacket to steady himself. “Newt, if I could do anything, if I could stop -”

Newt cut him off by kissing him again, a short peck that only scattered Thomas’ thoughts even more. 

It wasn’t ideal, Thomas knew that he needed to be able to _ think  _ right now. He had so much to tell Newt and so little time to say it. 

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “They’ve got you wrapped around their buggin’ fingers as much as the rest of us. You can’t forget that.”

Of course Newt was right about that. As much as Chancellor Anderson wanted to insist that he, Teresa, Aris and Rachel were a part of the team, they sure didn’t do all that much to prove it. If anything, Thomas was probably just as unsafe as the rest of them. 

His gaze fell to the floor. “Maybe I could ask Doctor Paige to send me i -”

Newt shook his head. “Look at me.” 

Thomas did, saw the determination burning in Newt’s gaze, and tried to let that calm him.

“We’ll find each other again,” Newt muttered, his tone steady. “I know it.”

He seemed so  _ sure _ that Thomas couldn’t help but believe him instantly. He felt it too, somewhere deep inside him. They were connected now. Thomas would find him again, it didn’t matter what WICKED tried to do. He  _ would _ . 

“You think I would let you go that easy?” Newt muttered, his tone teasing now. “After we finally found each other.”

Thomas shook his head. There was no way he could let Newt go either. His death grip on Newt’s jacket seemed to be proof of that. 

“Whatever happens tomorrow, Tommy, we have this. They can’t take this from us.”

A wave of calm was starting to wash over him at Newt’s words, seeping into his bloodstream, forcing his nerves to stop. Newt always knew exactly what to say when Thomas’ brain was running far too quickly for his own good. He wished he had the words to tell Newt that, but he could never find them. Thomas’ gaze fell to his lips again, and he remembered that actions could speak just as loudly. 

Before Thomas could lean in and kiss him, Newt did. Gentle and steady, as if this wasn’t the last night before the maze. The kiss felt like they had all the time in the world. 

“And we have that,” Newt muttered as he pulled away. “That’s yours forever.”

“Ours,” Thomas corrected.

He nodded, a smile lighting up his face, thumb stroking gently along Thomas’ jaw. “Ours,” he agreed. 

***

Thomas wondered how long it was going to take him to start crying. Would it be tonight or in the morning after the insertions? Or even later than that? He hadn’t quite processed any of it, even though he’d hugged everyone before they all left the basement. There was a finality to it and Thomas got the sense that Newt wasn’t the only one who knew he wasn’t going with them tomorrow.

Either way, he knew that he couldn’t do this alone. At least he still had Teresa. Thomas stopped blocking his connection to her, needing to feel Teresa’s steady presence in his mind.  _ Hey _ , he said to her.

_ You ok? _

Thomas shook his head in the dark, knowing that she couldn’t see it.  _ You were right _ .

_ Yeah _ ? she replied.  _ About what? _

_ About Newt. About … me _ . 

He could feel her curiosity perk up at that. Thomas expected her to ask what happened between the two of them, but she didn’t. 

_ He does love you _ , she said instead.

Hearing it from Teresa somehow made it more real.  _ How’d you know? _

She paused for a moment, and Thomas could tell that she was thinking her words over carefully.  _ It’s in the way he looks at you. It’s in everything he does. It’s like how he is with his sister but a little different. Obviously _ .  _ Whenever we hang out in the basement he makes a beeline straight for you. It’s like he always wants to be close to you. _

Thomas needed a minute to take that in. He swallowed, his mind going over memory after memory. Teresa was right, but he’d just never seen it.  _ Shit _ , he managed. 

Teresa was laughing at him, which made this worse. 

_ I could cut you off again,  _ he warned. 

_ You won’t _ . 

He lay in the dark, staring up at the ceiling and feeling her presence. Thomas wasn’t sure if she was waiting for him to speak next or if he was waiting for her. _I kissed him_ , he said.

Teresa paused for a long time before speaking.  _ I’m sorry, Tom.  _

Whatever he’d expected her to say, somehow it wasn’t that. Maybe he’d thought she’d be happy for him.

_ I am happy for you, idiot, but this sucks. _

Yeah. It did. 

***

He saw the others at breakfast the next morning, but the group of them sat in silence, swallowed up by the nervous chatter of the other kids. Newt was next to him, close enough that their sides were pressed together, and Thomas couldn’t help but think about how this was the last time that would be the case for a long time. Just the thought was making him sick.

“I don’t like this,” Chuck said eventually. The simplicity of the statement made a few of the others laugh just a little. It sounded so innocent coming from him. 

Teresa placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping it would help.”It’ll be ok, Chuck,” she said, and didn’t sound at all like she meant it. 

_ Nice try _ , Thomas teased.

When she glanced up at him, he noticed there were tears in her eyes and that shut him right up again. 

None of them were really eating, and part of Thomas’ brain was starting to worry over that. Going into the maze on a near empty stomach probably wasn’t a good idea, but if he couldn’t find it in him to eat he couldn’t imagine how much worse it was for the others. Teresa reached out to his mind a few times, trying to remind him to stay calm, but he just couldn’t.

His foot had started tapping under the table and it wasn’t until Newt pressed a firm hand against his knee, effectively stopping it, that he realised. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, maybe not just to Newt, but to all of them. He wondered if he would ever stop saying it. 

Newt didn’t say anything in response, but he also didn’t move his hand. Somehow that was an answer of it’s own. 

At some point, Minho had tried to pick up a conversation and it mostly managed to work. Between him, Alby and Chuck a small level of normalcy made its way back to their table, slowly enveloping the rest of them. 

Their time was up too quickly. The kids started filing out of the cafeteria, and Thomas’ group of friends started to follow along with them. Just as Newt took a step to walk behind Minho and Alby, Thomas grabbed onto his arm and pulled him back, a wave of panic crashing over him. 

“I love you,” he said in a rush, because Thomas had realised this was his last chance to say it. “Last night I forgot to tell you, but I do.”

Newt took a deep breath, and Thomas couldn’t help but wonder if Newt expected to hear that from him at all. As Newt’s eyes met his, Thomas could see the love held there, soft and patient and just for  _ him _ . Reaching out a hand, Newt squeezed Thomas’ shoulder gently, the gesture platonic enough to not draw the attention of anyone else. “I love you too, Tommy,” he replied. 

“Newt!” 

They both looked up at Minho as he called out for his friend. The others had reached the doors and stopped once they realised that Newt wasn’t with them. 

“I have to go.” 

“I know.” 

Thomas wished more than anything that he didn’t. That he was given the opportunity to hold onto something for once, but it seemed that none of them would ever be that lucky. Not here at least.

“I’ll fix this.” He had no idea why he’d said it, or how he would even go about doing it at this stage, but Newt smiled and that made the comment worth it. It sure did sound like a promise. 

Newt squeezed his shoulder once more. “You will.”

Then he was heading towards Minho and the others. And Thomas felt like he was starting to fall apart at the seams. He felt Teresa’s arm wrap around him and he curled into her, needing the comfort. 

_ Come on,  _ she said in his mind.  _ Let’s get out of here. _

He wished they could. 

***

Sneaking his way to Group B didn’t feel the same without Newt. Thomas wasn’t even sure that he  _ should  _ be doing this without Newt. He felt like he was trespassing, forcing his way into somewhere he had no true reason to be, like he was an imposter within the walls of WICKED. Maybe he’d felt that way for a while, having to watch the others be prepped for the maze solidified it for him. 

He wasn’t sure how many of the girls were sent into Maze B with the first group, but he suspected it would have to be around the same amount as his own maze. Which meant there would be far less girls around than usual. As he was nearing their barracks, Thomas wondered if Newt had time to tell Lizzy about all of this. What happened if she didn’t even want to see him? He already knew she didn’t need someone to watch over her. 

Thomas pushed the thought away as he rounded the corner. It was really quiet down here. Usually he would have been confronted by one of the girls by now. He guessed their leader was sent into the maze. He couldn’t even remember her name. 

Harriet spotted him first, and as soon as his eyes met hers, Thomas ducked back out of sight. He expected her to glare at him when she rounded the corner, but she seemed exhausted in a way that he’d never seen her. Her eyes were red, as if she’d spent some time crying. 

“Is everything ok?” he found himself asking. 

The corner of her mouth quirked up, as if she wanted to laugh. “I could ask you the same question.”

Thomas didn’t even want to think about how he looked right now, but if Harriet’s eyes told him anything, it was that he wasn’t much better off than her. 

“Let me guess,” she paused, crossing her arms over her chest, “Newt asked you to look out for her.”

He flinched at the name without even meaning too, and Harriet softened considerably. 

“You too, huh?” she muttered, and Thomas hated how panicky he was at what she was implying. “Guess we’re the same then. Stay here. I’ll go get her for you.” 

“Thanks,” he managed. 

Harriet looked as if she had something else to say, but instead she sighed and headed back towards the other girls. 

As soon as she disappeared out of his line of sight, Thomas leaned a hand against the wall, as if he needed it to hold him up. He was starting to think that he did. He felt so drained, like the life had been sucked out of him completely. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Thomas jolted away from the wall. “Hey, Lizzy.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Sonya,” she corrected. “Only Newt gets to call me Lizzy.”

He nodded, holding his hands up for a moment as if in surrender. 

Sonya cracked a smile, relaxing a little. Then she seemed to really look at him, just like Harriet had done.

Before she could say anything, or ask him if he was ok, Thomas spoke. “I told Newt I would look after you,” he said, voice raw. It had only been a matter of hours and saying the name out loud was already on its way to killing him. 

Sonya seemed to notice, which was the worst part. 

“We both know that you can take care of yourself,” he continued,” but he worries.”

She nodded, and wrapped her arms around herself as if she needed the comfort. “He mentioned that you weren’t going with everyone else,” she said.

“He told you that?”

“He tells me everything.”

Thomas had to look away from her. There was a weight to her tone then, like she  _ knew _ . “Everything?” he muttered, focusing on the solid grey-white tiles they were standing on.

“He doesn’t bring anyone around here as much as you.”

He met her eyes, to see that there was a small smile on her face. It was just like Newt’s. 

“I think he wants us to get along, you know. For reasons.” 

The way she said it was casual enough, and with a noncommittal shrug of her shoulders. Thomas had to take a deep breath because it was starting to catch up to him properly now. Especially looking at her. The more he looked at Sonya the more he noticed that it wasn’t just her smile, her eyes were the same shade of brown as Newt’s as well. The highlights in her hair glinted in the fluorescent light the same way Newt’s hair did. 

Newt had been right the night before. He felt insane. And hollow, all at once. 

Before Thomas had entirely processed the burn in the back of his throat, and the haziness of his vision, Sonya had wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. At least now Thomas had an answer to his earlier question.  _ Now  _ he was crying about it. 

“Hey,” Sonya muttered, in a soothing voice. “You take care of me, and I’ll take care of you, ok? I think that’s what he would want.”

Thomas let himself sink into the hug, wrapping his arms around her in turn. It felt weirdly intimate to be doing with someone he’d barely seen or spoken to, but then his mind shifted to Newt again, and Thomas sniffled, burying his head against her shoulder. 

“It’s ok, Tommy.”

He jolted at the nickname. Thomas had never heard it in anyone’s voice but Newt’s before, and he didn’t like it. Only Newt called him Tommy. 

“Sorry,” Sonya whispered, “I’m so used to him calling you that.”

Just the thought of Newt referring to him by the nickname, even around his own sister, was almost enough to send Thomas over the edge again. He took a deep breath to steady himself. “He never called me anything else?” he asked.

She pulled away from him and shook her head. “I only know your full name because it’s what the other boys call you.”

Thomas looked at the floor again. He wasn’t sure if he could handle this right now. Not with the gaping hole inside of him. 

“I miss him too.”

Her voice had been quiet, barely above a whisper, and Thomas felt absolutely horrible as his eyes met hers again. He must have seemed so selfish. This was Newt’s  _ sister _ , who’d been torn away from him when they were kids. And here he was crying in front of  _ her _ . For a moment, he couldn’t help but admire Sonya’s strength at being able to hold it all together. 

“Doctor Paige said I might be able to get into the observation room tomorrow,” he found himself saying. “I’ll - tell you how he’s going.” 

The cracks were starting to show, tears lining her eyes, but Sonya still managed to smile at him. She reached out a hand and placed it gently on his arm. “Thank you,” she said, and squeezed. 

Thomas nodded. “You look after me and I’ll look after you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This was another installment of 'I wrote the last scene first and then crafted a whole fic to lead up to it.' I just want Thomas and Sonya to be friends. I think they'd get along well. For the sake of this story neither Sonya or Harriett were Group B starters. Also, they're girlfriends I don't make the rules
> 
> You can find me over at [stranger-awakening](https://stranger-awakening.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!!! Comments and kudos are appreciated. Take care!! <3


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